Documented Minor Emotional Breakdown #1

ask me, i won't say 'no'. how could i?

2010-04-06T21:51:00.001+01:00

http://www.formstack.com/forms/?742971-qe9pS4aH2q
will post the replies on here and tumblr.

2010-04-06T11:46:00.004+01:00

leap of faith

taken in and around Porthleven, where i am on holiday at the moment, staying in a very quaint little cottage that used to be a fisherman's cottage.

it is all low ceilings and whitewashed walls, aga cookers and heated tile floors. the lovely owners left freshly baked scones, little pots of jam, some tea and some milk, and a little pot of clotted cream for us.

lovely surprise.

telescope pictures.

2010-04-06T11:36:00.000+01:00

sunday, 7th march 2010

2010-03-09T11:37:00.000Z

first clear, sunny day in three months. walked to williamson’s park. toddlers taking tentative jumps after their mothers down the memorial steps. couples laughing and holding hands and strolling along leaf-littered paths. small kids on bikes going round and round. warm in the sun, yet there is a memory of frost in the air, and the lake is frozen over. playing hide-and-seek with dad, playing tig with mum. friends sitting and smoking and talking.

i sit by myself and watch dog walkers laughing at each other and people in hammocks drinking coffee out of thermos flasks. i sit and pull at the dry grass and close my eyes. i am relaxed. i have never felt more content, more happy than this moment.

climb a tree, sit and watch the birds fluttering and flitting through the branches with such ease. as they, along with last year’s dead leaves cast shadows on my upturned face, i have never felt so happy and content than now, sitting in a huge tree, it’s branches embracing me like comforting arms.

first day of spring?

exited for the summer ahead, where i can walk and sit and talk and have picnics with people i haven’t seen for a while. i will make a picnic lunch every time- crusty baguettes, cool water in huge bottles, and plenty of fresh, home baked cake. i will never have felt so content in my life, in the sun, thinking of the possibilities of the two years of sixth form and then gap year? ahead, surrounded by the people i cherish and love the most. (esp. eden, bekah, sandy and sophia. that would be the best thing ever)

i will have tea parties and invite people wearing pretty dresses round to my house to chat and drink earl grey in the sun, of course with an abundance of homemade cake. and i will never have felt as happy or content as i do in that moment in my life.

i can’t wait for summer.

2010-03-09T11:25:00.001Z

www.tumblr.com/hollysses
this is where i am now. sorry i have neglected this blog no one xxx
i may decide to come back soon. i may not.

alfie

2009-05-23T21:09:00.002+01:00

This is my cat alfie:
(it will be bernard's turn soon!)

(happy 50th birthday morrissey for yesterday ;] )

Svo Hljótt

2009-05-17T20:46:00.002+01:00

i feel i have neglected Sigur Rós over the past month and i feel baad. :(
After listening to Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust in full last night, i realise just whhy i fell in love with them in the first place. such a stunning album :']
only 20-odd more plays and they will overtake the wombats on my last.fm :)
(which is a good thing)

"we had to write about our favourite book, and i wrote about the dictionary..."

2009-05-17T13:12:00.005+01:00

"I use flowers because Oscar Wilde used flowers. I really admire the idea of constantly being attached to some form of plant."

unnecessarily flippant

2009-05-16T21:05:00.002+01:00

he says "delicate" too much :D

and a crack on the head is what you get for asking

2009-05-12T20:04:00.009+01:00

I am going to write about food.

I love food, which is probably a good thing, i mean if i hated it, i would be dead.
off hand i would say my favourite food in the whole wide world is these beautiful things:

Stufed vine leaves,
mmm...leaves...

veggie of course, quorn mince or lentils.
(and excuse the cliché, i'm enlgish after all, whadda you expect ;] )

with the mushy peas of course!
and pehaps a pickled egg
*waits for cries of disgust*
pudding:

right. i really need to get this off my chest.
i haven't written any of this down and i need to now.
__________________

I don't eat meat. i was brought up this way. i haven't eaten meat in my whole life
(apart from a tiny piece of bacon which i thought was gross)
I do eat fish. again, the way i was brought up.
i get loads of crap:
"why do you eat fish but not meat?" etc etc
well, my answer is
"BECAUSE I WANT TO"
i can eat what i want (as long as i'm not eating people... )
i don't question their diets!
i have considered becoming a "proper" veggie, i may do when i move out.
but i don't want to turn down food that my mum has cooked, it's rude.
until then i will be a "pescatarian" which is as stupid name!

i don't like vegetarians who refuse to carry a plate that has/has had meat on it,
or will not eat near/next to someone eating meat.
i think that this is pathetic, and we should except everyone's individual diets.
i also dislike people who say "what do vegetarians eat?" etc
for gods sake, have they never had a meal in their lives that has not had meat in it?
have they never heard of meat alternatives? pfft.
[edit:] or lentils?!?! haha

i have also considered becoming vegan, i would be able to cope, but i don't think i will just yet.
when i eat fish/cheese/milk/eggs/anything else produced from animals it is always free range, and organic.
i feel that it would be VERY hypocritical and plain fucking stupid to not eat meat because of..say..battery farms, when eggs can be, and are produced in that (fucking disgusting) way too.

No matter what i do though, there is always going to be someone there telling me i'm wrong:
- eating fish when i don't eat meat
or
- eating dairy products- "turn vegan!"
or
- wearing leather/ sitting on leather

etc etc

and i'm just going to have to deal with that.
i call myself vegetarian, because i am more comfortable saying that than saying "i don't eat meat"
i don't know why, but i can do that if i want to!!

although, i don't know what i'm going to do when i go to iceland they eat:
- shark (half rotted)
- sheep head
- puffin
- sheeps testicles
- whale (GR!)

haha joking- if Jónsi can manage being vegan and living in iceland, i'm sure i can manage! (:
[i can always EAT FISH]

haha:

shame i'm not allowed to stay up and watch the new series tonight D:< p.s.

a crack on the head is what you get for not asking

2009-05-10T19:04:00.007+01:00

oh great. oh brilliant. oh wonderful. oh lovely
there is something even worse than twitter.
another wonderful site where lovely narcissistic people can post short (and pointless) updates on their very interesting lives is just what we need.

but this is even better than that.
on this site, you can post audio clips of your wonderful adventures. (ie what time you got up this morning, that you had scrambled egg for breakfast- all very exiting.)

so this site is not even just for narcissistic people, it is also for narcissistic people who love the sound of their own voices!
wonderful!
to post some lovely narcissistic and intresting updates, go here:
http://audioboo.fm/

i ...aquired...this today:

1. "Sweet and Tender Hooligan"
2. "I Keep Mine Hidden"
3. "Work Is a Four-Letter Word"
4. "What's the World?" (live)

I love the way at the start of What's The World? where morrissey forgets who its by haha
"this was written by...err ..erm.." then the song starts (:

p.s
:)

London Calling

2009-05-04T12:01:00.001+01:00

Work experience was grreat, more like a holiday though tbh........
i mean it was hard sometimes, but my working hours were great! 10-4 woo

i went to oxford street, it was horrible. big topshop was too big and there were too many people. i didn't see anthing i liked that wasn't stupidly priced.
did get a peacock top in H&M though, i have been looking for one for YEARS! (i'm not kidding either, i really have)

Camden wasn't all it was cracked up to be..
too tourist-y. couldn't take much of it, it was pretty full on and busy
was okay though.
these were the best things about camden
(don't know why i look so evil in this picture..)

When i asked the guy at the stall if he had any smiths tees, he said
"yes they are in this box, reserved for our special smiths fans with good taste " he was fit too. yay

and in another vintage shop, they were playing The Boy With The Thorn in His Side and the guy who worked there was singing along really loudly ...he looked like he was enjoying himself ;)

i really wanted to write "franz" at the top in permanent marker haha

Wewent to a lovely little cemetry on saturday, all over grown and wild:

and my favourite

I bought this necklace from a "We Make" fair:

it's pretty kwl.

the train back yesterday was soooo slow. it was such a retard..
i'm off to make mesel' some pasta for lunch.
byeee

p.s

lungs

2009-04-25T19:53:00.001+01:00

i had a lovely time "torturing" my gaga-loving sister the other day, by playing the smiths on my ipod speakers really loud when she was trying to read.
it was FUN. heh heh heh
i also saw porpoises in wales.

i had to get up at 5 this morning for a "dawn chorus" thing
5!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!
argh.

i am absolutely BRICKING IT about work experience next week!
got to get up at 8.00 tomorrow morning to get the train down to london...

rate i is jst goeing 2 pak me bagz
lololololololololololololololol......
(see edens blog to know what the fuck i am on about or this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbEMTLGmgwk link)

.....and watch a film (hopefully the history boys or mean girls)

Mull, scotland

2009-04-12T13:54:00.000+01:00

after a 6-or-so hour drive, with a stop at a posh oyster bar for a delicious fish lunch, we arrived in oban, where we had a coffee and wondered around:

Then we caught the ferry to Craignure on Mull. the ferry took about 50 mins and the drive to our cottage on calagary bay took about 1 1/2 hrs.
The coattage (Bulldog cottage) was right next to the beach, this is the view from the kitchen window:

on Saturday, we went to Tobermory/Balamory" and it was raining...
but we stopped in a cafe (Tobermory Chocolate) and i had a lovely hot chocolate.

Calgary bay again:

One day, we went for a walk (a very very long one! almost 10km) and we saw lots of waterfalls, and an abandoned village:

Another day, we went to an island called Ulva which is quite a large island off mull, with 20ish inhabitants. we saw at least 6 wild deer and pink footed geese.
we also had an amazing lunch of the best potted crab ever, lentil soup and yum home made bread. with hot chocolate and cake.
the ferry that took us over, as you can tell, was the peak of modern technology:

It was beautiful, if a little wet.

The next day, we went on a boat trip to Staffa and the Treshnish islands.
we saw puffins! (shit picture i know)

And Staffa was an amazing place, aparantly the "giants causeway" type rocks are much more impressive than the irish ones

and Staffa itself was a hit with the victorians because of the amazing rock formations.
around the Treshnish Islands, we saw seals!

and the sea looked almost tropical, because of the colour

on the holiday we also saw
natural arches

highland cows

lovely little harbours

a hermit crab

and (haha) sparrows.

and i found at least 25 of these:

which is a european cowrie shell and a piece of coral.

On the drive back, we stopped at a litlle cafe in a samll village, but they didn't take card, and the cash machine had run out of cash...
so we went to a scotish themed place, the decor was awful and the toilets had no water to flush or wash hands! i had vegetable "soup" which was basically veg-flavoured water with mushy carrots floating in it . YUK! haha.
then i was on the radio and then we arrived home.

lovely video, lovely song

2009-04-11T21:25:00.000+01:00

oh manchester, so much to answer for #2

2009-04-10T21:49:00.000+01:00

yes. i have changed it.
because i want to say sorry
as you have already read this, you probably won't read it again.
but i was in a stress when i wrote that blog. and it [the stress] WAS NOT because of the manchester thing.
it was because of something else i would rather not say.
so i was annoyed and disappointed. i had been looking forward to it for ages.
hope you had a nice time anyway.

trying not to move on too swiftly,
i was on steve lamaq's show on 6 music yesterday.
not that anyone i know was probably listening.
or anyone listening gave a fuck about my music tastes.
if anybody wants, then they can listen to it here;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/steve_lamacq/
and click on friday on the right hand side.
it's 45 minutes in, after the hip hop tune, if you really want to.
it's only up there for a week.
[this has run out now]

oh, and that smiths lyric should really be
oh lancaster, so much to answer for
in my opinion. tis crap.
[lancaster, not the smiths lyric!]

Nick Zinner is "HAWT"

2009-04-01T18:08:00.000+01:00

it's true.
he is also vegan.

as is Jonsi from Sigur Ros.

And Gareth from Los Campesinos!

....
my great knowlege of "pop stars" eating habits only streches so far.

my tea party
the table at about a quarter to one on sunday morning loked like this:

afterwards, at about 5ish it looked like this: [thx 4 da piture eden]

it was fun.
i think it was a success, judging from the happy people full of cake leaving my house afterwards.
thanks to all that came, it will probably return

here is a picture of Morrissey:

he z his typewriter.

Two songs i can't stop listening to

2009-03-22T20:32:00.000Z

Zero by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
and
Daniel by Bat For Lashes
lovelovelovelove

now, time for some (sort of) ranting

well i can't wait for "haus of gaga"
now, i'm off.

Best cupcake ever?

2009-03-22T18:38:00.000Z

possibly?

something that made me cry this week

2009-03-20T21:47:00.001Z

Colin Murray is leaving radio 1
ohmygod what the hell am i gonna do from 10-12 every night after 28th may?

:(

what i have learnt this week

2009-03-14T12:00:00.000Z

listening to How soon Is Now? by The Smiths when i am a bit upset makes me cry. in the middle of the hall at lunch in school..
i need to get out more
I'm Not There is awesome.
a fallafel, salad and mayonaise sandwich is surprisingly nice.
but chilli and chocolate crisps are wrong on so many levels.
i have got a work placement in the natural history museum in London. {YAYAYAY}
i am not in the school play, Gregory's Girl at all, not even the ensemble.
don't post blogs when you are pissed off/depressed. you end up sounding like an emo..
i have very lovvely & supportive {and annoyingly gorgeous!} friends
fresh air, coffee, chocolate and your ipod are aaammmaazing cures for unhappiness. better than listening to The Smiths proved anyway.

Guilt By Association

2009-02-20T03:23:00.001Z

fuccckkk.
i cut my fringe yesterday.
my Mum has told me off big time.. i just wanted it a bit wider....
i think i look like a complete "idiet" but i will have to ask you, eden when i see you (be honest!!)... shit shit shit shit (bang bang)

....I'm in a stress, so cue another rant about Lady Gaga, recently renamed by me to Lady Fuckfuck:

(((just a quick one this time i promise)))

yeah. i just read an article about her not knowing who Girls Aloud seeing as i don't like them, i couldn't care less to be honest, but just one quote pissed me off:

"the eccentric singer" meaning 'her'....she is not eccentric!

just because she wears certain clothes!!

urgh.

this is what i call eccentric. (oh and of course amaaazing):

fuck "lady gaga" (that name annoys me so much! lady? pfft.) she looks so normal net to Bjork!
and her music isn't eccentric either. (just shit) singing about getting pissed is not eccentric!
Bjork's is!

oh, and keeping on the theme of Bjork:

I have decided that since all of the people in my textiles class are going to be doing "evening wear" and prissy dresses for their GCSEs, i am going to do something more original and crazy, inspired by Bjork's wear...maybe just a little toned down and easier to sew.. but yeah i just didn't want to go for the conventional/boring option. and that swan dress is fucking awesome (i might make it without the swan's head though? haha)
"Volta" is brilliant. such a good album! i love Earth Intruders. its aaace.

And another thing:

Miley Cirus' new song sucks. lot's and lot's. seriously, it's gay.
So does Kelly Clarkson's new song.
Teitur's album is great. really really great. (see last post for more Teitur love...)

That is all.

Teitur- The Singer

2009-02-19T05:53:00.001Z

I really really must sing the praises of this album. (sing..The Singer....geddiit??!....) I read the review in (the wonderful and free magazine) The Fly and knew that it was an absolute must have for me...

"And by this point you see where the tears come form. Moreover, you understand why he -why everyone- needs to be loved. utterly inspiring."

...and i agree with every single one of those words entirely.
first track, The Singer is so spell-binding-ly amazing and beautiful, it sets the tone for an amazing album. "They just want to understand me, and i sing to be loved"...*gah*

Your Great Book is gorgeous, laid back and Catherine The Waitress and The Girl I Don't Know are both great and "Catherine.." is wonderfully happy and catchy. Guilt By Association is brilliant, dark and almost scary, about killing a man by accident... i also love the title.

Possibly my favourite track off the album, We Still Drink The Same Water, is almost heart breaking, it just makes you feel, and i almost, almost cried the first time i heard it...

In Start wasting My Time, he sings "start wasting my time...let's listen to Dido and Madonna, just so long as i'm wasting my time.." which i love, Teitur's music certainly is not a waste of time, it is amazing, emotional wonky-pop, and hard to describe!

Such a good album- i definitely recommend it to anyone with a heart.

music rant #1

2009-01-28T18:52:00.000Z

"Lady Gaga"[who is an idiot, might i add..] recently said in an interview:
"i'm very clever, my lyrics are very clever..you can be half-naked and clever at the same time."
well, i must say i have a bit of an opinion on this....

so she thinks that she and her lyrics are clever does she? Well then what-the-flip is clever about getting so drunk you can't bloody stand up, let alone know where the hell you are and writing a song about it?
nothing. anything could happen to you if you were that pissed, idiot.

examples, quotes from the annoying-mainstream-tripe-drivel that is "Just Dance":

"i've had a little bit to much, much" meaning yr pissed...very pissed.
"where are my keys i've lost my phone" *claps in a sarcastic way* well done! how flipping clever of you!! wow, some one should give her a medal, she is just so clever!
"i can't shut my playboy mouth" ...except what the actual hell is the "style icon/pop princess"[throws up] on about now?!

and she humps a whale in her video...oh how very attractive.
and wears David Bowie-esque lightning bolts on her face, so everyone at my school think she flipping made it up as they are so ignorant that they don't know who David Bowie is.

...but that's another music rant for another day...

Scroobius pip's commandment of the day:
"Thou Shalt Not make repetitive, generic music."

now, i'm off to listen to some decent music and have a good cuppa tea to calm my self down..